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The Power of Permissions

18/12/2020

4 Comments

 
This week I ran an online workshop on Power Dynamics as part of the TA Tribe Foundation programme.

We focussed mainly on ego states and transactions - how we invite others to take personal power from us, or how we might take it from others.  We explored symbiosis - how we might get into unhealthy relationships where neither party are using their full set of ego state resources.  We could have looked more closely at psychological contracting - understanding we have a right (power!) to ask for what we want.  And we could have also looked at Rackets (loops of self-limiting beliefs).  We only had six hours!  And what we did cover facilitated interesting discussions and sharing of learning and experience.

We briefly talked about discounting - when we leave people out of a conversation, event, project etc we use our power in a negative way.  The opposite - accounting - is much more powerful!   Including, encouraging, supporting people to contribute.

We also briefly talked about strokes and stroking patterns - how we do not 'hear' some strokes (a stroke is a unit of recognition - so a thank you, being listened to, appreciated).  Filtering out strokes is a way of preventing ourselves from being potent - ie, powerful!

Permissions are powerful.  The permissions we give to others can have a profound affect.  I was given a 'bullseye' permission by Jean Illsley-Clarke (a much respected human being and TA trainer and author) when I first met her in 2004 that I treasure and have never forgotten.  Do not underestimate the power of permissions!

What I mean here, is a supportive, verbalised (but not always) recognition of our beings and our abilities.  A manager actively listening to a team member could be seen as that manager giving permission to think.  Encouraging someone to contribute to a team meeting may be a permission to belong etc.

In this blog, I want to concentrate on the permissions we might give to ourselves.  This is a self-supporting way of increasing our personal power, and a very positive way of accounting for our personal resources.

We all know that this year has been tough for many people.  We know that Christmas is a busy and sometimes stressful time of year at the best of times.  And these are not the best of times.  So, I am offering you a chance to give yourself some permissions:
  • permission to rest
  • permission to have fun
  • permission to say no to things you do not want to do, or have in your life
  • permission to be successful
  • permission to be creative
  • permission to make a mistake
  • permission to succeed
  • permission to care for yourself
  • permission to share your feelings
  • permission to slow down
  • permission to ........
Whatever your plans this Christmas, appreciate what you have in your life, and give yourself permission to know it!
4 Comments

    Lynda Tongue TSTA-org

    Learning and Development consultant since 1991.  Teaching and Supervising Transactional Analyst since 2013.
    Passionate about the power of  positive application  of Transactional Analysis!

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I am a qualified Teaching and Supervising Transactional Analyst in the organisational context.  I teach systemic application of TA - a framework for enhancing communication and confidence!

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  • Welcome!
    • Counselling >
      • Counselling bio
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      • Coaching bio
    • Teaching >
      • Teaching bio
    • Supervision >
      • SuperVision bio
    • Systemic TA >
      • pdf Systemic Transactional Analysis
    • Certificate and Diploma STA
  • Deep Dive Tutorials
    • ANALYSING ORGANISATIONS
    • CONTACT DOORS
    • GROUP DYNAMICS
    • LEADERSHIP - A RELATIONAL ISSUE
    • LEADING ORGANISATIONAL CHANGE
    • PSYCHOLOGICAL CONTRACTING
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